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Post by Rose/Kiba\ PawZ on Apr 14, 2010 8:11:08 GMT -5
(PAGE 24)
I think it might have been a mistake placing us all on a Squad , not that I don’t love them and all , but my Chakra doesn’t react with Netsy’s body , I cant heal her , I have the most uncontrollable urge to but I cant It upsets me to think that Poor little Chi might be the same way , and how useless am I if I cant even heal them. Healer that cant heal , that’s a good combination......
Miss Zita , must think im Quite pathetic, she was too a Medical ninja who can Be ful in battle and still heal others , I cant remove poisons with others around me .... I hope she doesn’t look down on me ,
Marry me , oh how much I thought I heard Netsy say just that , but I must have been wrong, my heart Jumped and almost stopped altogether , oh how much id love to hear that but was it just my Feelings that played out on my ears where my own thoughts took over them.
Oh How Furious I am , How Hard it is , Why , Why do I Love her. Its odd , she pushes me away , she pulls me close and yet I cant keep away , she’s entangled in my heart strings , Forever there I often think , Why Netsy? How is it Netsy is so dear to me ? Why do I fall for her ? Why if I n a second id Drop everything to follow her? ...because this is love. My love . Netsy.
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Post by Rose/Kiba\ PawZ on Apr 16, 2010 21:53:36 GMT -5
(PAGE 25) i dont understand , i make the brithday cake and everything . but No Netsy , did she just leave in the morrning , and didnt come back untill i was sleeping ? ...... i felt her climb in next to me . maybe she was just out , but then the next morrnign again she was gone . maybe shes mad at me still , this might be worst then i thought. .... what if she still hates me for what i did. i can only pray she doesnt.
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Post by Rose/Kiba\ PawZ on Apr 18, 2010 8:21:04 GMT -5
(PAGE 26) oh , what a day yesterday was , The Sweat the Tears , the Teaseing and the Fears , all of which life inprisons us with , and yet we manage day by day , night by night .
I know i love netsy , and i know what she wants , and i know what i want , and they are the same , but everything she temps me , somethign triggers in my mind , im not sure what it is , but for some unknown reason i just cant , yesterday was just Sheer Weairyness, mayeb i was to tired to think . i hope she forgave me , but i wont know untill i see her again.
Yet another dya i awake to find both Netsy , and Chi gone , ..... do they get up at like 3am , like god ..... they both sneak in after i go to bed . ..... Grrr she makes me mad , but i love them both , and hold them above all eles, there are things ill have to suffer throguht to make everyone happy , but it will get done , We will be happy. Everything happenes for the better, soemtimes just not the way we Exspect.....
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Post by Rose/Kiba\ PawZ on Apr 19, 2010 18:45:48 GMT -5
(PAGE 27) .... i remember , when i was young , there was an old lady where i lived , she was very wise , and one day upon bring her my Daily Flowers .... she told me this " if you find youe self wondering if you love someone , you dont love them , beacuse thought who have to think , cant possibly be love . Love is an Impluse."
I Never once have i found my self wondering ,if i truly love , Netsy , Beacuse i know i do , My Question lies , Does Netsy Truly love me? She seems unhappy lately , maybe i made her made , when i tryed to force dinner on her... She only wanted me .
Is that a Love , or just a Physical Attration. it puzzles me , but i cant jump n this , everythign will play out over time , untill then , ill wait. Eveything happeneds for the best , sometimes we dont think it does , but it does.
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Post by Rose/Kiba\ PawZ on Apr 20, 2010 21:24:57 GMT -5
(PAGE 28)
I awoke to find No Netsy or chi again , i dont know hiow they do it , they eat , at leaset now, the foos never their in the mornign .
Today i went to Vist the mist Viallge , and well , i meet up with a Guy named Mic , he was Quite happy and Friendly , even for his size he was Kind , and Not what i Exspected. I hope to meet him again some day.
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Post by Rose/Kiba\ PawZ on Apr 25, 2010 12:39:43 GMT -5
I have found myself picking flowers alot , anyother time im at the hosptial , its ood , i like the Quite. its reasusring , and yet i miss the people. if i were to leave thsi village wtih a borken heart , i know what id do. it be hard for me to leave my newest family or my dearest friends. but id open a Flower shop.
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Post by Rose/Kiba\ PawZ on Apr 27, 2010 21:16:10 GMT -5
(PAGE 30)
Oh what a day , it fills me with joy and reminds me why one lives the lives they do.
for me , all i ahve to hear is I love you ,from netsy, and my heart almost stops ,beacsue im so over joyed .
today she proposed, shes so pretty in the snowy yet sunny day's light. hey eyes like Crystal's they trap my love within them , after seeing them im stuck, i cant even breath, my mind races and overwhelmed with the feeling of love. i couldnt possibly say no. she means way to much to me. and i love her in return.
Rose Tem'Naka its nice. it makes me feel , i belong, and it will last forever. it allows me to forget my Haunting pasts and move on, my only memoerys that will reach back will be the times i spent with my True love.
True , what a word , True , to be Pure , to be untainted , to be hounest. it stands for so much.
Love , to act , to think , to love.
for me its True love , as it will always be.
Rose Tem'Naka.
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Post by Rose/Kiba\ PawZ on Apr 30, 2010 10:55:02 GMT -5
PAGE 31)
I woke up with a start from a dream troubled by dark wings, one of those nightmares that leaves you with no memory, only fear. The windows were still open and through them lay a black sky, like a wall. It was dead silent, no wind , no sounds. The air was chilly and damp , rolling onto my back, I pulled the blanket to my neck and stared at my love. I couldn’t shake the hurt feeling, brought on by the few words Netsy spoke to me before I headed home. They haunt me, and yet , I cant seem to tell her its wrong.
In fact I don’t think its wrong, what’s wrong is how much I love her , to follow her to the ends of the world, I’d stand aside her through anything. Maybe I should have said something about it. But why? If I don’t think it’s wrong and I don’t think she should stop. Why do I feel this hurt? Maybe im Jealous, maybe I should meet her other play toy. But do I really want to? What is she’s prettier then myself , or smarter. The only comfort I have is that she told me she loved me , and I truly believe this. Her eyes don’t lie, they watch me softly they show compassion. Maybe I’ll wait this through. It will be best for us all. Ill return to bed, and pray that this works out It pains me to even think id lose my love. But I know I wont, I know this. You can keep a lioness in your home but you cant keep them inside all day.
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Post by Rose/Kiba\ PawZ on Apr 30, 2010 21:41:55 GMT -5
(PAGE 32) I'v decided. and realised. if this has been the whole time, then nothign will really change. so i cant really worry about this issue.
I guess i am just a little worried id lose her to that "other" one. but i dont see that happening , i play the scenario over and over again in my mind , and 9 times i can find more reason for her to stay , then to leave. this ends now. i shall not worrie about it again.
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Post by Rose/Kiba\ PawZ on May 1, 2010 13:46:56 GMT -5
(Page 33) My heart belongs to Netsy. im confuse myself and stress myself out. nothing with change. i have to stop this. i heard her get up this morning. she kissed my cheek before she left. after she left is placed my hand to my cheek as if i wanted to hold it therefore ever.
After thinkign this over , i was mad at myself. netsy was with the other girl first. does that mean i was the person netsy was cheating with? am i the evil one, the one that was their last. is she even cheating. does the other girl know about me.... why does this make no sense to me. .... ill have to talk with her about it in more depth. i only pray this doesnt end badly for anyone.
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Post by Rose/Kiba\ PawZ on May 1, 2010 23:46:27 GMT -5
(PAGE34) I know its strange that im glad Netsy read my Personal diary. Today was really the night of nights. i dotn get to see that careign side of netsy very offten , but when i do i feel like im melting. like butter in a hot pan. SHe wears a Tough shell. but i know shes careing and sweet. My sweet Love. My Greatest Decision My blessing My Angel. She has been placed here to guide me Funny how Skyma has set out such a Plan I go against my own religion to marry her. but i think its worth it. ill shed my shell , Start a new life ,as Rose Tem'Naka. Oh how i wait the day! its silly as a young girl who picked flowers and dreamed of the day a man would ask her hand funny how everythign turns out. im not foresaken in the eyes of Skyma, im am to be happy. This is were my happieness branches from , its my core. its my life.
its intresting, Netsy said she was scared i was dead. she said thats she watch me die over and over again. was this a nightmare? or was it someones doing. if it was and i find out ill make sure i find them.
hmmm 6 pages left. i need a new book.
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Post by Rose/Kiba\ PawZ on May 3, 2010 9:38:46 GMT -5
// just a little note on her condition in the hsotpital that she will tuck into her journal \\
Hidden Leaf Medical Status Sheet
Patient [glow=pink,2,300]Rose Scis[/glow] Condition [glow=red,2,300] Weak (broke from the coma, is now awake needs rest) is now able to move her uper body.(with otu issue)[/glow] Reson (Acidental) Harmed beond treatment in Chunin Exams ( Mith - Saved her life if not for him she would have died there) Treatments Surgery to fix her internal organs along and bone rebuilding, Rest
Injurys 4 broken ribs
left leg broken in 2 places (Leg is now sore, but its fixed up)
hair line fracture (Coller bone) (Mended)
major Blood lose (still in side effect of it, but is now Stable)
Minor Flesh Tears
Muscal tears in Left thigh , and right shoulder (Medical Surgey recontected them) Exspected time untill able to walk 30 days (IC) 10 (IRL) (From may 3rd - may 13th) // Waiting on Dm's to tell me how long. probly be a long time)
[glow=red,2,300]Hospital Bound. under no Circumastances may she leave, is now able to to move from her room under Supervison of
Netsuke Tem'Naka
Mithrajin Ovanjiru
Only RELEASED [/color][/b][/u][/glow]
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Post by Rose/Kiba\ PawZ on May 4, 2010 9:36:30 GMT -5
*** Updated Hosptital Condition ***
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Post by Rose/Kiba\ PawZ on May 5, 2010 9:51:43 GMT -5
Iv been caought by the nurses twice now. apprently im too weak to do my own teatments. and in part i belived her, alotough my efforts were useless, i couldnt focuse any chakra to my hands. am i that drained ? or is that maybe what the surgey did...
i hope Mithrajin comes back , after talkign to Netsy about it, i ahev decided that he is proble the best teacher i could have. after all he saved my life. he managed to pull my soul back to my body.
this was a hard decison, id have to face my fears again. not that i dont like Suna, but it brings back horrible memorys, how can i face them.. i think the only way i got throught the exams in the first place was beacuse netsy was with me. i will though, ill train with M if he grants me his blessing.
I dont blame her for this. i went full out, in the end, my plans failed. if i could have only stayed focused i'd have saved her this pain. i know she thinks its her fault. i know shes mad at herself. i know why she is driven to train so hard. poor Chi too. i dotn know what to do about her, i heard that she visted a few times while i was sleeping. i remember heraign her small voice.
its funny how love is, you disregard your own pains to please the ones you love. even in the suffering and Constent Treatments, my mind never wanders far from them i think about them all the time.
Maybe thats my greatest flaw. The need to Help, or gain approval of the people im aroudn with , or thoughs i look up to.
Netsy Visted me again, she looks good, shes been hard at work. shes been takeign care of chi too. she brought me my journal and a Few medical Books. ill study to keep my mind sharp, untill my body recovers.
________________________________________________ // the song to Discirbe her feelings.
Crossfade> No Giving Up
So you found out today your life's not the same Not quite as perfect as it was yesterday but When you were just getting in the groove Now you're faced with something new And I know it hurts and I know you feel torn But you never gave up this easily before So why do you choose today to give it all away
Well it's not so bad y'all Together we all fall Just as long we get up we'll stand tall We shouldn't waste another day Thinking 'bout the things that we forgot to say
I'm hittin' back y'all Kickin' these four walls Just as hard as I can til I can't crawl I won't waste another day With all these silly things Swimmin' in my brain
[Chorus] There's no giving up now Do you really want to give this all away Can't you ever see things in a different way Somedays No giving up now Such a beautiful thing to throw away You should think things through Over and over again All over again
So your scars fade away You soaked up the pain A better person 'cause you lived through those days And now you know what it's like to prove You can overcome anything that gets to you Well it's alright We're sayin' our goodbyes To the past and everything that ain't right We won't waste another day With all these silly things in our way
[Chorus]
I know we have given All that we can give When there's nothing to lean on Well, I remember this All we make of this lifetime Is always here within And remembering that's why We should never give in
[Chorus]
There's no giving up now
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Post by Rose/Kiba\ PawZ on May 8, 2010 16:08:42 GMT -5
The past few days have been the hardest, not only my injurys hurt, seeing Netsy mad at me hurt almost more thne all of the damage on my body. i was upset with my self after. i should have gotten her , as soon as i could walk, or sent seph, i understand why she is made at me if in fact she still is... it didnt seem like it when i was at the gates with her the other day, when i sat in her lap she seemed happy with me. i havent seen her since. altough i have felt her climb in beside me in bed , she offten kissses me before she goes to sleep, or so i think, in the fuzzyness of sleep i have a hard time deciding what is real and what is dream, maybe its what i want so badly it causes my mind to react with the ndream of her doing so. i know she loves me, i seen the look she gave ryuu, she ates him , i understand why, and in truth i think i do too. he acutal laughed at me when that tag took me out in the second round of the exams , luckly my team is Smart adn logical , we made it out even with them carrying me.
Mith came by when my key got stuck i nthe door, ( Must get new locks or something to Break up the dirt in it or something...) he helped me get it out, i felt like a fool but i knew he wasnt upset or even looking down on me about it, he almost looked worried. he doesnt say all to much, but his words impact me greatly, each compliment feels like someone pulled 100 pounds off my back, he it tryign to teach me a Bone mending technique , i have had alot of trouble keeping the chakra in my hands, it even hurt at one point. alothough i cant let on. my injurys are my problem, i feel bad when others think they need to help me.
how odd an idea that is, i go out of my way to help others, and yet i dotn like to be helped.
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