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Post by Joshie/Neji on Jun 20, 2010 19:11:33 GMT -5
(( This is a book I decided to start writing, All I have so far is the prologue. So, Let's see what ya think. ))
~Wishmaster~
Prologue:
The word love is hard to explain. Yet, I would have no reason to try and explain it up until recently. But, trying to explain it before would be easier then trying to explain how I feel now. The noise of door’s opening and closing is the only thing that fills this place with noise. I stare blankly down the long white hall. She shouldn’t be the one in this place. I should be the one in there. Why am I out here, when she’s in there? Risking her life to save mine is more then I could have asked for. Moving to Dechan was a good idea, and bad one all at the same time. Gaining her was great, but now losing her. I’m not to sure it’s worth it. I was offered an opportunity to move on, and I took it. But I never thought I would get involved in this. Someone’s coming down the hall now, from where she’s being kept. I look straight at him, but he’s not looking. I’ve been waiting for the doctor’s verdict for up to three hours. And I’m not to sure how I am going to take all of this in. Not yet I tell myself, it’s not her time. If I am going to be able to carry on my life with her. That’s the bonus that life has granted me. He walk’s with his head down, straight toward me. His head raises and look’s straight at mine. Wait, let’s not skip ahead…
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Post by tempest on Jun 23, 2010 10:01:55 GMT -5
A bit confusing, but I assume that its about a guy who moves to a new town, meets a girl, likes girl, girl gets hurt (saving him?) and now hes worried sick about her and such? its interesting, but its lacking emotion I think. Its like someone is telling a really old story instead of how they feel now and whats going on. Hope that helps
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roseysweetbabygirl
Chuunin
I would put something meaningful, but, I'm just drawing a blank.
Posts: 205
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Post by roseysweetbabygirl on Jun 24, 2010 1:49:50 GMT -5
^.^ it's really great joshy!! I hope you write more!!! <3
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Post by Gaara on Jun 25, 2010 19:04:33 GMT -5
Everyone is on a writing spree, it is good, I like it, but no one lives up to the legendary long first two chapters that was Shinugakure's Rise...and for anyone that was reading that...I will probably be continueing it soon, it is actually being revealed through the rp section on the forum in the Shadow Man Part I and II
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