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Post by Shikamaru on Jul 31, 2009 17:32:06 GMT -5
~Entry 16~
Well It finally happened, me and Jin had it out. This has been coming for a long time. Except it wasn't over Akane but my short relationship with Kai. What is wrong with me? I'd rather look like the asshole then show my flaws to the person that pisses me off the most for no real reason?
Kai, she was always sweet to me and we joked around a lot. I'd make wise cracks or a flirty remark... and she'd smack me. haha And after Akane died she was there for me alot, we talked and I spilled myself to her. Aside from Akane I think shes the only other person to ever see me cry. I guess it was only time before me and her gravitated to each other. She because she genuinely like me, me... now looking back he was right. I think all I saw when I looked at her was Akane. Red hair, fun to be around, caring, liked to play with swords... haha and so much more.
It was wrong of me and I didn't even realize I was doing it. I was trying use Kai to fill that hole Akane left in me. It wasn't Kai I was seeing, it was the things about her that reminded me of Akane. I thought about it for a few days as I made my way to Konoha. As I approached the gate and saw her walking out and I realized he was right. I hadn't fallen for Kai, I had fallen for the fact she was identical to Akane in so many ways that I wasn't seeing the real woman. That's not love... its desperation to hold onto the past and I was dragging Kai along with me in the mud.
I hurt my close friend and I can't take it back and now... I have to honor mine and Jins wager. I'll walk away and fade away she'll never see me again so long as I can prevent it. I'm sure she'll worry as to where I've gone but I'll stay to the shadows and let her live her live. I'll not hurt her again.
Its where I'm better left at times in the dark, damp, recesses of the world. Why do I look in the mirror and see Aky? Did us growing up the way we did mold us into swift, efficient killers without emotion? It's not how Kanya treated or trained us. Have I too become that what Aky himself has become? Theres only two left in this world I care for deeply, both stay locked away in their jobs almost hiding from the world it seems. But maybe thats them, maybe Aky works away in the brigade because thats what he is. Maybe that is why Kanya stays in the hospital almost 12-16 hours a day even more. Maybe thats why I...
... thought someone was coming and I lost my train of thought. I'm going to close here before I wrinkle into a prune. The hot springs here in Konoha are about as good as our own bathhouse I get too relaxed.
Times have changed apparently so have I. Am I destined to walk the dunes of Wind alone? Am I better off remaining away from those I can hurt and just remember? Is all there is left is to do is remember the good and the bad, the love and the pain of myself and others that I have seen thru Ijin Boushi?
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Post by Shikamaru on Aug 4, 2009 19:34:48 GMT -5
~Entry 17~
Coukiji and Ketsuzei are dead...
Coukiji by Tonesai and my hand, and Ketsuzei by his and my hand. Coukiji I was able to drive my blade almost deep enough to dislodge the shard from him like the others. Tonesai the "brains" of the group showed up and snatched the shard from his forehead. But why? Perhaps it has become obvious to the remaining members of The Six that I have been collecting their shards. When Tonesai pulled Coukijis from the wound I had made I quickly moved on Ketsuzei. I thought him dead but he was just badly hurt by him silting his throat with those -claws-. I turned to face Tonesai but as the tactician and fire master of the group its possible he realized I was not about to let him take another of the shards. He left and as I lowered my blade, Ketsuzei... no, "Doc" pulled my blade down to his throat. He and I knew what would happen if he lived and the monster that was the legend of Ketsuzei got free once more. I drove the blade home killing him and setting him free from his own mind.
That leaves only "Big Brother", Tonesai, and Setsukei alive, two members of "The Six" and their older brother. Otekei the poison master, Coukiji the cannibal, Tobesai the kid, and Ketsuzei the butcher are dead.
Adrai-sensei's disease is weakening him and its only getting worse, things do not help that Anhura is after his sword planing to use it to give him some form of immortality. Now knowing Anhura is pulling the strings behind The Six it does fit, but only fuels my drive to put them all down again.
The Ijin Boushi is pulling more and more at my mind and theirs each time I see them. And I think it's linked to the "Big Brother" more then any of them, they come more and more frequently as of late. The last shedding light on everything that has happened. It will only be time now before they come for me like Adrai-sensei said. This though I already knew. I do not know when they will come but I know who and hopefully that will help me. I have faced them each almost individually so far, if the three remaining come for me at once I do not know if I will be able to hold them off. The Ijin Boushi has shown me so much insight to this whole ordeal if I die and the knowledge I know dies with me then all will be lost if they get their hands on Sensei's sword.
It seems like this was fate, that I was the one chosen to deal with them and everything in my life has pointed me toward this end. The Ijin Boushi, my training, Kanya-sensei, Adrai-sensei, my Father and Orochimaru, my fights with Aeita and Anhura, everything that I am seems to have lead me to this point in time. Ha... if only I believed in such non-sense...
I only wish the Ijin Boushi would show me how it ends but I'm afraid soon I will know first hand. If this is my final entry I want whoever finds this to know what has happened to this date and I wish all the information here-in be handed to Lord Kazekage. If I can't stop them, someone has too.
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Post by Shikamaru on Aug 5, 2009 10:46:17 GMT -5
~Entry 17~ *conitnued a few lines down*
I've had time for Kanya-sensei check me over. She says there are signs of advanced healing on my ribs and internal organs. I know Coukiji broke something with that hit and I was definatly in pain when Anhura hit me with that jutsu and I blacked out. But when I woke up... why?
Why did he heal me? and why did he leave the Wind Gem shards with me after trying to take them?
It doesn't make any sense. He's playing at something and I have a sudden feeling that both "Big Brother" and Anhura are using me to their own gains but how? How do I stop from playing their puppet?
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Post by Shikamaru on Aug 11, 2009 12:44:08 GMT -5
~Entry 18~
The things I have done
Karasu is in the hospital this time for protecting me but why? Aeita and Anhura now have the Scythe of "The Lightening God" Tenrou they are always one step ahead of me. I need that blade to kill Bontoken with. Anhura tried to seal Adrai-sensei, I was able to grab Anhura's wrist and bend it back on himself but it did nothing. Aeita got a good swing across my back and the electricity that surged thru my body locked up my muscles. Adrai-sensei was still suffering from a blow from the scythe as well as me when Anhura turned to me and performed the same sealing jutsu and tried to hit me with it. Then out of nowhere Karasu leaped in the way and took the hit. At that moment I was able to break free and move again from the current coursing thru my body. And as he always does as soon as me or Adrai-sensei "bare our teeth" he ran with his tail between his legs.
Have I come to be so complacent that watching a friend and comrade leap in to save me doesn't bother me? Looking at him in the hospital I wasn't worried when I found out that this was the jutsu used on Takida that lead to his death. They say his chakra systems locked down and it may be a week or less depending till he's back to normal. What is Anhura up too that he wanted me and Adrai-sensei out of the picture for a week? And why is it I could care less what happens to the majority of people anymore? Is it caused by the fact I have Tenrou hiding somewhere in the back of my head?
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Post by Shikamaru on Aug 13, 2009 5:44:26 GMT -5
~Entry 19~
Tenrou is messing with my mind and the immortal jerk is hiding in my mind and won't show himself. More and more my mind wanders back to the day Akane was killed or the battle that killed her at least...
WHY?
Why does Tenrou keep showing me visions of her death is he just trying to spurn me on to kill them even more? Whats his goal? He claims he wants them dead and then wants me to kill him to set him free... how do you kill an immortal thats hiding out in your head twisting your thoughts and actions and the way you see everything?
I haven't had a good nights sleep in days, everytime I close my eyes shes there, I watch her fall on that battlefield and die in my arms in the hospital later over and over again. WHY?
I want this over I want the Gotekans dead and I want this guy out of my head so I can rest in what little of a life I have left!!!
*Akane and the woman he loves even now...*
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Post by Shikamaru on Aug 16, 2009 18:44:42 GMT -5
~Entry 20~
Adrai-sensei knows more then he's been letting on. He told me that my father was an Anbu? My father? An Anbu? Apparently theres more records of my father I never saw or was allowed to see. I guess there was a lot more about my Dad I didn't know. Apparently there is some twisted fate guiding my life according to Adrai-sensei. I found out my father was part of the squad that brought down the Gotekan's in the first place some twenty years ago. Apparently my father played a pivotal role in that betrayal. Huh no surprise there him betraying someone...
Anyways much has come to light and happened since I wrote a good deal down. So apparently my father was part of the group that brought down the Gotekan brothers the first time and he was an Anbu of Sand. So now twenty years later his son has been charged by Lord Kazekage and Konoha's Hokage to bring their bloody rampage to a halt. You would think I would get a bit more help from Konoha aside from their backing of my hunt for them thru their lands. Bontoken has his sword once more and it is as bad as the legends say and don't say. I was ambushed by him and Setsukei out in Water Country and Setsukei left leaving me to face off with the older brother. I wonder if my admittions of what Bontoken and Tonasei had any effect on him.
Regardless Bontoken broke Akanes sword, shattered it in my hands with a powerful attack. My last reminder of her was destroyed in my hands by that man. He laughed and ran off while I tried to recover. When we hit, we hit hard and it shattered the blade peppering me and him with fragments of metal. I ended up returning back to the Fire temple in time to watch Tonasei get stabbed by Aeita. Seems the betrayal is coming to light for the Gotoken's, Anhura won't be able to keep control of his "army" much longer. Tonasei used Coukiji's shard to retain his life and escape leaving Anhura and Aeita's betrayal out on the table for them to see. We will see what Bontoken and the other two do now. I'm mainly curious to see what Tonasei and Setsukei will do now that they know their older brother has sold them out. No honor among family it seems...
I know that all to well.
I returned home to Suna and had the metal from Akanes sword removed and left it with her father as his forge. After a few days of rest and healing I returned to his house to ask for his aid in remaking Akanes sword. Knowing very little about weapon crafting he informed me there wasn't enough of the sword left to remake we'd have to start over with something new. It was then I suggested a slightly smaller blade and he agreed casting out the "scrawny" jokes again. That man just loved to poke fun at me cause I wasn't some big buff guy that his daughter was dating, I was some agile skinny guy. He poked fun but I know he liked me or else he wouldn't have said yes to my question about marrying Akane when she came back form that mission she nev...
We worked on the sword seems sitting in my blood for a few days had an odd effect on the shards of that chakra metal, it turned a blackish hue. Her dad said he had never seen anything like it but figured the metal should still be usable and he didn't want to try to get his on more of the metal. We worked for a few days and after some designing and planing we started working on the sword. It's a lot like Akanes in many ways just a foot or so shorter and more streamlined. After we smelted the metal back into something usable he handed me the hammer and said good luck. Great. I worked on it day in and out for several days till he came in and took the hammer from me and ordered me out of his house to go rest. I can see why I had maybe four or so hours a sleep a night, I think I was keeping them awake some with the pounding and later the grinding. I showed back up and her Mom wouldn't let me in, she said that Dad said to come back in a couple of days and it would be finished. I decided not to argue when he poked his head around the open door and waved one of his large hammers at me and said "go home". It's funny to see who Akane got her stubbornness from and her rare moments of sweetness definitely came from her Mom. I showed back up at the house two days later and he held out his finished work to me with a grin. I have to say I was taken back by all he had done in such a short time. The blade was a deep black which quickly caught my eye, he said the metal shards we had removed from me changed the color of the rest of the metal. The pummel on the end of the hilt was adorned by a golden scorpion stinger which I thought was kinda tacky but hey I've never been one for gold. The handle was wrapped by leather wrapping we took off of Akanes old blade. The thing that really set it apart though was the inscriptions he had put on both sides of the blade near the guard was "Scorpion" and on the other side "May you never walk alone". I have to admit when he does something he goes all out. I've been practicing with the blade and learning how to use it, its lighter then Akanes old sword so it helps but I was just starting to get used to swinging the old one. I'll have to make sure this one isn't damaged.
Tenrou is becoming more and more pushy by flooding my mind with more visions. His impatience is starting to wear down on my nerves. I really do need to find those three and put an end to all of this. It's time I took this more on an offensive, I've requested that Lord Kazekage give me a bit of leave to see what all I could find out. I guess I'm to easy to read and he issued the order for me to hunt them down in the dunes of Wind Country but was to remain in our borders for now. Guess it was obvious I wasn't going out on a fact finding mission. If I can find them instead of them always finding me maybe I can turn the tables a bit more in my favor this time. We will see, I've been given a weeks time in the dunes and then I'm to report back. I just hope I can corner Tonasei or Setsukei out in the dunes of Wind. Much more I hope its Setsukei. I have a feeling now after my words along the lines of "watch your back" about Bontoken and the Akatsuki, he will listen after Tonasei's attempted murder. We will see if his loyalties to Bontoken run deep enough...
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Post by Shikamaru on Aug 21, 2009 16:15:03 GMT -5
~Entry 21~
*Blood droplets scatter the page making a good portion of the writing hard to read but understandable after staring at the words long enough.*
He got me, that little twerp got me and I thought I was tracking him unse--- Why Kabuto was making a --nning pass on the outstretches of Wind I don't know. I can bar--- breath and my arm hurts along with my chest, its burning I'm burnt from the sun after laying immobile for so long. The bleeding won't st-- -nd I'm becoming dizzy. This may be my last entry. He was not alone - --nged man came to his aid though he sounded like he was more on my side at first. Three of them, he can split or something and they aren't bushins. ---- --- real another of Kabutos experiments I gather from their conversation.
Akykyo I'm sorry loo-- like you were right I did die in the dunes.
Kanya-sensei looks like I can't keep that pr---se, forgive me.
Akykyo I'll leave mine and Akanes sword to you only if you promise not to melt -- down for puppet parts.
My three little girls, take care of yourselves work together like I sho--- you. Stella you have a long road ahead of you keep working har- -nd don't let anyone tell you genjutsu is a lame thing to specialize in. Victoria you have a good heart and will make a good medic, follow what it tells you. Rasenkan I'm sorry I couldn't teach you more, your a strong woman and you will beco- *writing stops*
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Post by Shikamaru on Aug 27, 2009 12:24:40 GMT -5
~Entry 22~
Its over. The Gotekans are dead, every last one of them. Tonasei fell for my trap this time around, Adrai-sensei stayed close as I walked into the lions den on purpose. Knowing the future using that skull had its usefulness if nothing else it showed me what I needed to know, how I would die. Another close call averted maybe Adrai-sensei is right I have the "devil's luck". I walked in and springged his trap and while Tonasei was too busy closing in for the kill so was Adrai-sensei. Right before Tonasei could deal a finishing blow Adrai-sensei appeared dealing a blow of his own. After pulling his sword from his chest ad spinning him on his heels he cut off Tonasei's hands with his own wires. Sad really to fall victim to your own trap. As the wires released me and Kai I closed on Tonasei to give Adrai pause not to kill him. This one was personal, more so then the rest of them. I drove my blade into his back impaling him and driving out the shard in his chest, the one in his hands removed when Adrai-sensei cut his hands off leaving only the last one in his neck just below his jaw. I told him everything happened as I told him it would, that he would die by my hands on his knees. I pulled my blade from his back and swung before he had too much time to attempt to flee. Tonasei, the man who killed Akane dropped dead at my feet. My personal war was over now it was business. I gathered his gems and turned to Kai, Tonasei's trap had done more to her then I expected and she was unable to continue and I and Adrai-sensei continued on as she made her way back to Konoha.
I came upon many dead Anbu some who started to reanimate from a jutsu I can only guess was performed by Bontoken. Finally after cutting our way thru the fallen Anbu we found him. Some how he ripped Tenoru from me and imprisoned him in a barrier, my advantage was gone. He then striped Tenoru of his physical body and he reformed as the elemental bijuu of lightning. To make things worse Bontoken was able to control him while he was inside of the barrier. Tenoru slammed Adrai after he went Senin after my consistent warnings not too. As he fell back I used a chakra focusing technique and prepared for the fight that was coming. Then Tenoru turned to me and attacked only to be blocked by Setsukei. The fool was still on the kick that if anyone was to kill me it was him. Finally showing his true colors Bontoken turned on Setsukei using Tenoru's powers to suck him inside the barrier and once inside he turned to stone at Tenoru's "feet". Before I could react Bontoken used a jutsu that destroyed the statue that was Setsukei. Robbed of the one I wanted to kill, it needed to be done but I wanted to do it myself. Taking the opportunity while Bontoken was preoccupied with Setsukei he lashed out with a powerful Sage kenjutsu. It had enough force it disturbed the barrier giving me the chance to move on Tenoru to destroy his gem that held him in his form. In the sudden shock Adrai moved on Bontoken and I moved on Tenoru. Unable to defend himself and my attack on Tenoru I swung and connected shattering the gem. It sent -everyone- flying from the chakra that was released.
The final blow was dealt to Adrai-sensei... enough of the chakra that was released was absorbed into him. The disease rapidly accelerated and I watched as he faded away into dust before my eyes… I lost it. As the shockwave exploded from Tenoru it caused the gem shards in Bontoken and on his person to suck out of him. As my mind refocused after the blast I ran for the shards unknown to me that the chakra held in them had been absorbed by Bontoken. As I leapt back I drew my sword out of the ground and Bontoken charged. It only took an instant. I glanced up at him as he charged and I felt the Ijin Boushi lash out in anger causing Bontoken to stumble to a stop as he became trapped in its maze. Before I could strike the chamber near us began to shimmer from the chakra it had absorbed and it cracked open only seconds later. Who stepped out caused my jaw to drop as Adrai-sensei walked out in his body. Not the vessel he had been using but his own true body. The first thing that caught my eye was he showed no signs of the chakra disease. Bontoken broke free and I turned to face him as he charged once more. Adrai used his focus on me to trip him up in a genjutsu that scared even me just in the sheer force it exuded. As Bontoken stumbled to a stop Adrai-sensei yelled at me to stop playing around and finish it. I whipped around to face Bontoken and flicked Sasori open and let loose a blast from the large war fan to send him flying back. I snapped my sword shut and charged no wanting to let up on the assault. Bontoken bounced on the ground an slide to a stop but before he could move I was on him, I leapt into the air and slammed my sword into his chest. He tried to get up once more trying to pull my blade from his chest and I drove it deeper pinning him to the ground. His last words did nothing more then bring a smile to my face as he slowly turned to dust, “Killed by a kid.”
It was over. Tenoru slowly reformed from the chakra released from Bontoken, there was on last thing to do. He told me it was time and told Adrai-sensei to take care of me and watch over me, of course the old coot agreed. Tenoru opened the shirt on his chest and in an instant I drove my blade thru him giving him the release he had wanted. NOW it was done, the final closure of the past several months. Everything me and Akane had strived for to put an end too. I just wish she had been there to see it come to an end, I’m sure somewhere she saw it all. I turned to Adrai-sensei and we licked our wounds and headed home. Once I got back to Suna I checked into the clinic for a quick run down on my wounds and then headed to Kazekage Garaa’s office. Adrai-sensei beat me too it, when I walked in the door Kazekage Garaa told me that Adrai had told him everything. About that time an Anbu walked into the office which peeked my curiosity but I kept it too my self as he handed Lord Kazekage a small package. He extended his hand and a pillar of sand floated the package to me. He said that it had been long over due. I opened the box and looked at the contents and was pleased to see a Sand Jounin uniform but there was something else under it. I can only imagine the look on my face as I lifted the Jounin uniform to see an Anbu mask and another set of cloths I looked up and I guess my face said it all. Kazekage Garaa said that apparently I had turned in an application for the black ops squad some time ago. I didn’t argue but I knew it couldn’t be true the form should have still of been in my dresser at home. I nodded and thanked him knowing what tasks had just been dropped into my lap and I was overly pleased and confused. I bowed and walked outside before taking off at a dead sprint to the outskirts to my apartment. I got inside and walked to my dresser opening the drawer as I lifted the cloths to see that my application was missing I caught wind of a strange fragrance and I spun on my heals drawing my sword. Anbu-sensei leaned against the door and laughed as she held a blue rose in her hands. She said she was glad to see the scent was still enough to put me on alert, I guess my dealings with Aeita are far too well known. I asked her where the application was that she had given me so long ago and she replied with a simple “I turned it in for you a month ago.” Go figure I knew she was always preaching I would be “elite” in my training and pushed me harder then anyone ever has but this came as no surprise. She told me she was proud to see how far I had come from the teachings of my three Senseis. She was right though Kanya-sensei, her, and Adrai-sensei all three had a hand in molding me to become what I am today. She had to be smiling under her mask as she turned and walked out my bedroom remarking I was out of tea. Now I know where all my tea has been going and I thought it was one of the nurses from the clinic down stairs.
Good grief I just realized I’ve written three pages in this thing. I’ll stop here but the thing that stays just there on the edge of my mind is what Adrai-sensei told me on the way back to Suna.
“Things will only get harder and more interesting from here Kid. Things will never be the same for you.”
I hope he’s wrong.
(Everything Tongu has been thru in his life leading to this point. Every struggle, every loss, every person that put him down and said he wouldn't make it as a shinobi.)
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Post by Shikamaru on Oct 7, 2009 17:09:05 GMT -5
~Entry 23~
Stupid Anbu-sensei and her nosey habits, I know it had to be her who stole my Journal but why? I know I left it under my mattress the last time I wrote in it only to be walking thru the Valley the other day after some training to have it drop on my head from a cliff above. That woman infuriates me to no end.
Anyways I was sitting at the pool infront of the tombs earlier today thinking about everyone I know. Wow have I really become such a jerk in my time growing up? I mean, lets start with Mai, I get a odd kick out of tormenting the child but why? What has he done to me aside from trying to be my friend and well there is the fact I feel he's tried more then once to get into my pants. Maybe thats it... nah, hes just fun to pick on. Kai? Wow thats just a whole load of issues on that plate, one shes an Ex and two she wants me in her wedding. I think I'll come up with a "mission" I have to be on that day just so I don't have to be there. I should never of asked her out, we were such good firends once. Can we ever get back to that? And Chance god what was I thinking back then, I think it was just the glasses, something about glasses has always peaked my interest in women. Meh... shes more of a pain and nusience then a valueable shinobi. I'd rather have one of my three girls at my back then a Special Jounin if that says how much I think I can trust her. I mean seriously you have to grow up sometime. How she has lived to this point is beyond me. I don't know maybe I'm too critical. The other day I was out with her, Kai, and a Mist who affter I did some digging seems to have some sort of relation to Mai. Chance said something that got me to thinking, I'm sure she had no idea it was me but she said a few things about me that got me to thinking.
Maybe I am too brutal, maybe I have become a monster. I have to wonder though if I had not become what I am would I be so good at what I do? Or would I even still be alive? Too many questions that leave too many variables.
I am what I am and I will not change myself to please anyone.
But can a man really live his life alone with not ties to bind him and he be happy? I know this is not what Akane wanted. She wanted me to be happy not spend my days alone and hunting those who turn their backs on their own villages. I've "buried" myself in my work only to come home and spend time with the three people who hold meaning in my life. What would I do if I lost Aky or Kanya and her son? Well let me rephrase that I spend time with Kanya and her son, Aky comes out of his shop about once a month as always. How does he do it? He comes across as someone who cares for noone and it does not bother him. Though I know he cares in there somewhere for me, Kanya, and Akane when she was alive. I could see his sorrow when he looked at me when I relayed the news and he tried to convey his feelings about her death. Meh.. Hes not been good at that since before the Chunins that were so long ago.
At what point can a man like me safely let others back in after he has felt so much pain and seen so much fear?
(The troubles of being alone and being unsure if thats how it should be.)
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Post by Shikamaru on Oct 18, 2009 3:19:19 GMT -5
~Entry 24~
Victoria may be dieing. The nurses and Med shinobi can't figure out why or stop it. Some rare disease is robbing my student of her life and I can't do anything to stop it. All my promises, all my actions to keep them safe, everything I've done to make sure they grow to be strong, was it for nothing?
They don't know if Victoria will pull thru but she has been taken off my squad and I will be assigned a new genin in time to replace her. I haven't told Rasenken or Stella yet. I feel as if I have failed her with my promise I made to her and the others. How can I protect her against something I cannot even see?
She went unconscience the other day and hasn't came to since. They're not sure if she will pull thru but keep telling me only time will tell with sad eyes. This feels worse then Akane. I am losing another one I swore to protect and not only am I watching her slip away...
theres nothing I can do to stop it.
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Post by Shikamaru on Oct 21, 2009 14:18:13 GMT -5
~Entry 25~
A giant has fallen, Aikanaro Nenharma has died…
The man who started it all for me, he taught me my first genjutsu and encouraged me down my path. I sit here now realizing that I never fulfilled one of my final “goals” I had made. I never faced him in a spar. Though at the same time he was one of those goals I had made once I reached that area of, “am I better than him?” I never sought to challenge the idea. I guess it was idolizing someone from your childhood then never seeking to see if you had surpassed them somehow knowing the answer. The Jounin who had become a “Master” of genjutsu in my book has died. I can only hope to live up to that kind of light in time.
I bumped into that Toad Sage out in the middle of the dunes. Why he was out there at the time was beyond me but I soon found out. He told me he was just passing thru and thought he would stop in Sunagakure to visit some old friends and to check up on me. His words threw me for a second not understanding why he would be interested in me. As we talked he brought up the fact that a few months ago I had faced Takida, the Spider Sage, in a spar and was strongly holding my own and even dealing out some amazing feats till he used a senjutsu on me sealing away my chakra for a short time. And the even more surprising thing was once it was unleashed again the match that became one sided quickly, leveled out. He asked if Adrai had taught me more of the sage techniques after hearing tales of me going into a sennin mode. I laughed at him and explained the incident he spoke of was merely a bluff, and illusion. I explained to him after seeing Adrai enter sennin mode and later using a henge to create the same visual effect I used the same tactic to bluff my way out of a fight against two higher level Akatsuki. He didn’t laugh which was odd for him and somewhat unsettling. He then challenged me to a friendly spar. Well we started and as things progressed I became more and more frustrated as he easily countered me over and over and continued to land some nasty hits. It all ended when he slapped me with his hair, HIS HAIR!!!, and sent me rolling back. I was so sore it hurt to move. He walked over to me and leaned over me inspecting me like I was some kind of thing. When I looked up and saw his expression I got irritated not only at the fact I had just lost so easily but at the fact I was being dissected with his eyes.
When I asked him what he was looking at he replied “So this is all Sunagakure and the Scorpion Sage can come up with to follow in his steps?” I got even more upset as I stood up cussing him for his words and he laughed at me saying, “So there is the man I’ve heard so much of”. He explained that he had heard of how cruel and cold I was and how I had become so much like my own father. That did it, I swung at him once more and in an instant he wrapped me up in his hair once more with a sterner look. He then explained that he had heard many stories of my cruelty to Missing Nins and even my own squad mates and allies. He explained that he had also heard of Missing Nins entering the dunes of Wind Country and disappearing. The kind of rogue shinobi who had done many unspeakable horrors and did not show up on Sunagakure’s door to be turned over to their villages, “Why is that Dunewalker?”. I couldn’t help but grin and retort back that I had no idea but the dunes can be very “unforgiving”. He obviously didn’t like my joke as he squeezed me for a brief second with his hair to remind me he still had me in his grasp. He said that I had begun to make a name for myself but not the kind of name one would hope for a sage. A cruel and uncaring man, who shunned many of students and often was questioned for measures that should not be taken. He leaned in inches from my face and asked me something I have been thinking about in passing few months “Is that what you want to be remembered as?”.
He released me from my prison of hair and watched me stating that he remembered when I was little, I may not remember it but a long time ago I had sat on his shoulders as him, my father, and Adrai had walked about Sunagakure relaxing and admiring the local “scenery”. Though I’m sure it was not the buildings he was looking at by his tone. Anyways, I know my father and Adrai knew each other but hanging out together as friends and with the pervy Toad Sage? The looks on his face said enough when he said I’ll let Adrai explain about that. When I pressed the issue he told me they both were Anbu and I should speak to Adrai, talk about a revelation. He popped me on my head and said back on topic, he said I used to be a very cheerful kid and even offered up my own popsicle to another little boy who had dropped his while they had been out that day. Though I can’t remember any of this I could tell he wasn’t lying to me. He then asked me what had happened to that kind boy. I couldn’t help but look at him and answer with the three first words that came to my mind. “I grew up.” He just shook his head at me and started to walk off before stopping and looking back at me saying some words that startled me a little.
“If you do become a Sage you need to change your life and the way you live it. As you are now you’re responsible for three little girls who look up to you and yes I know about Victoria, Adrai told me. As a Sage you will be responsible for a lot more. But listen. If you do not change the way you treat others and the way of life that you live then you will not leave a legacy for others to follow. Did you know there was a Genin speaking highly of you in Konoha the past few days? A -legend- of Sunagakure, he said though I still think there is more to be written in your story yet legend doesn't fit you. So there is one at least who looks up to you. Are you going to let the rest down? It’s our responsibility to pass the torch to those who come after. Now if you will excuse me I have the grave of a brave kunoichi to visit. One who died as she lived, fighting against those who would do harm to others she cared for, mainly for you.”
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Post by Shikamaru on Oct 29, 2009 2:03:02 GMT -5
~Entry 26~
“Who are you? You’re not my son.”
I never thought words would cut me deeper than any wound I had taken. I finally decided to tell my Mom about Dad. The look of fear in my mother’s face when I showed her my eyes and explained everything that I had found out, what all I had done…
Why is it that as children growing up we want to be just like our parents but when we grow up we wish we could go back to those simpler times. I never asked to become what I am I never wanted to see my mother cry like that. Maybe this was another of many bad decisions in my life. I just felt she deserved to know. Dad wasn’t the hero her and I had grown to know or been told of. The lies of the Elder Council that decided it would be best to say that he had died a hero alongside his squad other then he had murdered them and ran off to aid Orochimaru and Sasori against the village had left deeper wounds not in the village but my family. How deep lies can harm someone. It had been close to 14 years since I had seen him. Why was my first reaction to kill him? Was it really out of justice for those of his squad that he had killed and it’s what a shinobi of my village should do to those who go rogue? Or was it my own personal vendetta? I know I had no choice when Orochimaru said that we had no choice to fight and then Dad said he would kill me. But could I have done something different? Could I have spared my father? There are just too many questions.
Mom knows what I have done and the look on her face…
I have found that using my eyes instills some of the most gruesome and frightful thoughts into people and I have seen many faces twisted in horror but hers? God what have I become? If Kanya and Akykyo looked over my mission reports as a Special Jounin and now Jounin and Anbu Tracker and seen the many things I have done, the many people I have killed… and how. What would they say? Would Aky’ actually say that some of the things I have done are justified? Or would even he look at me in disgust and wonder what kind of man I had become.
I found out from Adrai that long ago Adrai-sensei had been in Anbu with my father and they had been friends once. He also said something that triggered our first heated disagreement “You’re just like your Father…”
Have I become just like the man who I despised after I learned the truth? Have I become the kind of man who would turn on his squad, men or women who I have fought alongside and kill them as if their friendships and trust had meant nothing? Have I become that soulless of a man? Adrai told me that part of the reason he took me under his wing was the fact that he sees the same mentality he saw in my father. That “walking the line” between choice. That he feels that I’m walking a fine line yet to step to one side and decide what I will do, or what I will become. He was afraid that the loss of Akane compounded with the actions I had taken against my father in captivity would send me down the same path as him. He looked at me and asked if I knew that I was walking that line or as always I was oblivious to it. I couldn’t answer him and now after confronting my mother and telling her the truth that caused her to tell me to leave. Maybe I haven’t been walking that line perhaps I’ve been on the wrong side of that line all this time.
As I layed in the dunes last night staring up at the stars far away from the lights of the village I drifted off to sleep for what seemed a few moments only to dream of my dad. I was little and we were playing catch with one of my large bouncy ball toys. I was so happy back then. Even though he did what he did he was a good man and a great dad.
Mother please forgive me, Dad I’m sorry. How do you change something you’ve become when you’re not sure how you became what you are? If only I could find that child I once was…
(The final realization of what he has become and the things he has done. Where is that child, where is the happiness he once had?) Seether - Rise above This
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Post by Shikamaru on Nov 9, 2009 12:09:07 GMT -5
~Entry 27~
Wow why is it when I don't write for a period of time so much happens that I have to recap?
Well I moved in with Kanya the other day, in a way it’s a little weird. Especially the reaction I got from Akykyo, I half expected him to try and kill me or something. Anyways, I'm staying with Kanya and Kenta and I'm greatly enjoying it. I really need to get him off that horrible goop that Kanya keeps feeding him because I defiantly drew the short straw when it comes to diapers. Regardless I have a family now and I care for them greatly. I just hope things continue like this for a very long time.
And then the other side of the spectrum... that @#%^&$ Orochimaru somehow cloned Akane. Seems he somehow created a little girl who is identical to Akane when we were kids. It's like he gets some kind of kick out of torturing me and those around me. The little girl seems to have been grown somehow and has a lot of Akane’s memories not to mention her looks. It seems that the process in which he used to create her wasn't perfect. Her memories have holes but she is slowly putting her mind together. In a way the good thing is she doesn't seem to remember from the time I was taken captive by Orochimaru up to her death. She doesn't remember the time that I and the original Akane had. The "original Akane"? Why does thinking that and writing it down seem so weird?
I paced about it out in the dunes for several hours the other night deciding what my actions should be till I finally decided to go see Kazekage Garaa. I discussed at length my opinions about this little girl as a Jounin of Sand and also my personal feelings about her. Seems she decided that she liked the name Akane and she was going to stick to it instead of the “XC 13” that Orochimaru named her. She also seems lost with no purpose and nowhere to go. Me and Lord Kazekage both agreed that letting her fall back into Orochimaru’s hands or anyone for that matter with the original Akane’s memories would be bad. Then Lord Kazekage suggested something I was wary about that we should train her and that the person who should train her is me. Though I brought up I am not the right person to train her he pointed out three things he felt was the reason why I should. The first reason, that I had worked with the original Akane for so long that if she picked up a sword and learned to fight with it I would be the best to teach her how the old one once fought. Secondly, that he has heard about and seen how she trusts me and listens without question almost every time I speak. Third, he believes that because of what she is I will likely be the one who would do everything in my power to protect her and keep her from harm if Orochimaru was to come for her again. With all of this set out before me I could do nothing but agree with him, he was right. I then requested that Akane take the vacant spot in my squad and begin training immediately if it was found she meets the criteria of a Genin of Sand and he agreed.
So now I have three again. Can I keep losing Genin like this?
~Entry 28~
I talked to Kankuro this afternoon and asked him to teach Mithrajin against my better judgment. He may never become a strong shinobi splitting his focus on medical and puppetry but only time will tell. No offence to the boy but I will never trust him to operate on me if I have a dedicated medical shinobi nearby who’s spent their life studying the human anatomy not human anatomy and puppet parts.
Why must I end up with the “rejects” of the village? Don’t take my words as harsh but I have a genjutsu student who only I can train, a medical and puppetry practitioner, and a clone of my long dead girlfriend who I have a feeling will take up kenjutsu forsaking everything else like she once did. Maybe it’s because I’m like them? Long ago there wasn’t anyone in the village who was considered a “master” or even “good” at genjutsu. The kids in the academy laughed at me because I wasn’t good at taijutsu or ninjutsu and that I excelled at genjutsu. I was often told I’d never get anywhere with “illusions”. I remember Aky being made fun of too because he “played with dolls” and Akane because she was more brute force and “strong for a girl”.
Oh god… I’m teaching my old squad.
Mithrajin in some ways is like Akykyo was back then, Stella is like me, and Akane well she’s like the original Akane long ago. Did I subconsciously agree to train them because in the back of my head I was picking up on this and didn’t realize it till now? It’s funny I remember Kanya struggling to teach us all how to do what we wanted to learn she even tried to get me to learn medical jutsu long ago and give up on genjutsu but I was stubborn. Then Anbu-sensei tried to break me and when she realized I would not give up on my path she taught me everything she could always preaching that “You will be elite!” Ha... she was right. Now here I sit leaning against this pillar in the central quad and I think back to everything I have done everything I have accomplished. I’m not that little weak boy I was once; I’m a Jounin and Anbu of Sunagakure. The first and last defense, the wall and the kunai of this village, “The Elite.” I fought to become strong and to surpass everyone around me even Akykyo. I took the curse that Orochimaru's experiments on my dad brought into my family and used it as a tool to strike back at him and those like him. I never gave up and neither have they. I will do my best to teach these kids to give them the same chance to reach their dreams.
Perhaps it’s time I really did start acting more like the Jounin I am and responsibility that has been laid upon me. Perhaps they are right I have grown too cold and cruel to those around me and closed off myself from others. Akane and now Kanya have shown me that I should have listened the first time…
I’m going to stop here I can hear someone coming and from the steps and shadow it is Mithrajin. I think… I’ll give the boy a bit of a scare just this last time.
(The obvious fight of his Genin to become strong like he did once before and his plans to pass his torch onto them.)
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Post by Shikamaru on Nov 28, 2009 20:09:50 GMT -5
~Entry 29~
*a line of blood is smeared across the top of the page, dragged by what one can only speculate is a finger*
He's gone, Adrai-sensei died just how Elder Kurno warned me. As strong as I have become Anhura always seemed parallel with me and now? I never even touched him I couldn't stop him, I couldn't save him again. How many times has he lunged out there and I was the one to pull him back by the collar of his coat just in time to save him. I'm the student if anyone was to be saved it should have been me, the students not supposed to save the teacher.
I told him to leave the Waterfall's to their fate because of the prophecy but he wouldn't listen. That bullheaded and stubborn old man never listened and never cared for helping others outside of Suna...
WHY NOW!!!
Why did he have to go and act the hero? We were still training and working toward our plot to bring down Anhura. Why charge head long into a battle we were not fully prepared for? Stupid old fool.
He told me to remember to always focus and to remember I have "friends" to rely on. Adrai left me his sword, now I must protect the Seal of Ikaruga. I must either learn to wield it properly or find someone I trust with Sensei's sword who can bring down Anhura. Now? The only two people I can think of who could wield it properly are dead, Akane and Adrai...
The little girl Akane, the "clone", I don't think will be able to wield it for some time and Anhura must be stopped before then.
The man I grew to care for like a brother or more a father I guess has died. Anhura continues to take everything from me. Akane and now Adrai.
I swear by my blood I will bring him to his knees, I will watch him die slowly and I will smile happily over him as he draws his last breath. This I promise you Sensei and Akane. He will pay...
for everything...
(The passing of another torch as the winds of change never cease and the dreams and hopes for the furture never fade.)
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Post by Shikamaru on Dec 28, 2009 13:24:26 GMT -5
~Entry 30 : The Rise of the Demon of the Wind~
I haven't written in so long its so weird, I look at my last entry and think back to that night and wonder if things could have been different. What else I would have said to Adrai if I had time, what all else I would have asked...
I'm engaged as odd as that may sound. I asked Kanya and she happily accepted after she got the words out of course ..haha.. I've adopted little Kenta and plan to raise him as my son but in time he will also come to know the man that was his father to the best of my knowledge and memories.
Death seems to have surrounded me since my capture and return.
My father at my own hands... Akane killed by Anhura's plot for power... Aikanaro Nenharma protecting some Genin... Adrai-sensei at the hands of Anhura... Elder Chiyo in order to save Lord Gaara...
I thought I could keep people safe if I became stronger, I pushed and shoved forward always training, always learning.
Now I have a family to protect more so then just my home, friends, and fellow Suna shinobi. I have to become stronger. I thought there for a bit I had lost that dream. My eyes ceased to function. My dojutsu would not work it was a day over two weeks that my eyes had "died" that I fell into what Kanya could only describe as a coma. I was out for a few days and when I came too instinctively I "jumped" out of the grasp of a nurse. I didn't realize how easily i had done it till i had made my way out to the dunes. Normally I have to focus my mind and body at the same point to create the illusion and the short but emense burst of speed to evade something. This? It seems as easy as walking and breathing, it doesn't feel like I'm "using my eyes" but simpley just doing it without thought now. I don't know if this means they not only came back and are stronger or if its me just overreacting to having my eyes working again.
On a down note, the Mountain Sage who crafted Adrai's blade passed on a grave message to me. "The origin of Adrai's chakra disease"... its the sword itself. He came to inform Adrai that he had found the cure and was going to be delivering the news to Leaf's Hokage and it should cure him. It appears now that I have allowed some of my chakra to be absorbed into the Ikaruga I too will eventually fall victim to this disease. I have to get better with this sword and learn how to use it because if the time ti took Adrai to reach his worst I have less then a year.
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